It's been awhile

But I've been busy. Chasing around a funny, funny baby.

And growing a blueberry.

He looks innocent

But right before this picture, he was stinking his hand in the toilet and licking the water off. Uh huh. If you give him 3 minutes alone, he'll destroy your house like a tornado. I remember when I was pregnant with Baron I often said 11-12 months will probably be my favorite age. They can do a lot of things themselves, not too busy yet, still baby-like. Uh, I lied when I said all that. They are cranky, want into EVERYTHING, busy, won't sleep, throw tantrums and get PITA teeth. But, it's not all bad. He's cute as ever, gives hugs, tries to put shoes on, makes truck noises, loves when you say "ooh ooh ahh ahh" (monkey sounds), and loves library storytime.

Daddy comes home tomorrow after his year long adventure at sea.

Tooth # 28 is here

I'm trying to be all funny, but really in all honesty it could be tooth #28. It's definitely up there, this kid has a mouth full of teeth for a 1 year old. This one has been a big PITA especially, so maybe he'll be happier now that it's in? He loves having grandma and grandpa here. They follow him around, let him do whatever he wants, and let him stay up really late. Lovely.

"Never have children, only grandchildren." ~Gore Vida

It's a good weekend

It's not the weekend yet officially, but it is for us because Bart has the next two days off (four, actually) and his parents come today! I am excited because we get to share in the cuteness that is 1-year-old Baron. It just gets old constantly telling the cuteness because, well, I doubt people really get it. I mean, sure he's cute. He does cute things. But there's nothing like witnessing the cuteness firsthand, like when you make the kissing sound at him and he runs at you for an open mouth lick (Baron's kiss). He's walking everywhere, around the entire house like a drunken sailor. On a ship. He wobbles back and forth like one of those weeble wabbles but just doesn't seem to fall down. And he's getting pretty good at learning how to fall, thank f-ing god because his mother about has a massive heart attack every third step. He's saying a ton of things but mostly nothing. He has a bunch of new adorable clothes, which is one of the reasons I decided to have him in the first place (oh calm down, it was reason #62, so there were plenty of other more practical reasons). We're preparing for the big wedding in which Baron will play the role of ring bearer, or cranky 14-month-old who's bedtime is 30 minutes after the whole shebang starts, and I'm going insane trying to figure out how to make that situation not turn out to be major disaster. But you know, everything always works out, right? Oh I don't think I ever updated Baron's 1 year stats. 23 lbs 6 ounces (50-60 percentile), 30 inches (90%) and head= massive. It was like 95% or some giant shitastic number.

Here's a few pics that I didn't share last time. Because you never get tired of seeing pictures of Baron!!

Pajamas in the park

We went to the park, it was excellent.

The end.

Oh, and he throws tantrums now too

We're alive, daddy is gone once again but I think I have the better job (staying home with world's sweetest baby). He does funny things, like repeat what you do/say (but only once). And demand to ride in his new blue car (which requires being pushed by yours truly). We're playing milk roulette because I can't figure out what the hell to feed this kid, and since he maybe-possibly-no-f-ing-clue-if-he-can-or-can't have cow's milk, we're currently working with coconut milk. Who knew I'd ever be an expert on non-dairy options for toddlers? Did I just say toddler? Bart's parents are coming next week (yay!!) and we're preparing for project Baron's-going-to-walk-down-the-aisle. Oh and he got shoes!!! Big boy shoes. Life is good.

In other news, we have a major closet cleanout coming. I am going to ditch half of my supply of high heels (what's the point) in order to make room for my new practical wardrobe. While I agree you don't necessarily have to change once you have a baby, you go ahead and try to chase around a 1-year-old in 4-inch heels.

So we have a 1 year old

A 1 year old lives at our house. I don't really know how it happened, but it did, and it's very interesting. Sometimes it's fun, and he walks around the house going mamamama and bababaabababababa and opening the freezer. And sometimes he is a giggle monkey who's goal in life is to throw everything he comes in contact with. And then sometimes, he's a little (giant) pill who wakes up at 3:45 and won't go back to sleep.

Oh, and he does head hugs now (as Aunt Susan calls them).

"Whatever with the past has gone, the best is always yet to come."

- Lucy Larcom

Aloha!

Yes, that's my kid in the Hawaiian shirt. Again, it's because I can."What's the state fish of Hawaii? The Humuhumunukunukuapua'a" - Forgetting Sarah Marshall

My days are numbered

And by that, I mean my days of making this kid wear/do whatever I feel like (instead of whatever HE feels like). I fully realize this, so the other day I took advantage. One day he'll ask me why I made him wear a birthday hat when it wasn't even his birthday, and then I can finally give him the stink eye.

Oh, and mom's group HE loved. He sat in the middle of the circle and grinned and clapped and ate-up being the center of attention. Uh, hey mom, why didn't you tell me we could get a bunch of moms and babies together to sit around and look at me? Would have agreed to that WAY sooner.

"The fundamental job of a toddler is to rule the universe."

Lawrence Kutner

One week and counting

Baron will be one in just a week, what will I do after that? I mean, then I'll officially have a toddler on my hands, hopefully one who walks because carrying around a giant sack of potatoes is getting old. I feel like he's doing new things ever day-- he claps (kind of) and waves (kind of) and does "so big" all the time (but never at the right time) and smiles and giggles and is so funny. He loves strangers, particularly ones who have no interest in him! Daddy is gone UHGAIN this week, but he comes back Monday morning early, and we've already made it to day 5 without him (just fine). Thank god Baron decided to be a bit nicer than he's been the last few weeks. He's hilarious and nice, as always. Oh, and we're going to a mom's group tomorrow! Friends for Baron!

-"If there were no schools to take the children away from home part of the time, the insane asylum would be filled with mothers."

~Edgar Watson How

A few pictures

I told you he bumped his head. It's very sad, isn't it?

Who's that with the blue forehead?

That's my kid. And no, he's no pretending to be a mini-Avatar, he fell (hard) and hit his head (hard) and cried (hard) and now his forehead has a huge blue bump on it. How is he ever going to learn to walk? I'm either going to have to get him a helmet, duct tape foam padding to his body, or attach a string from his back to the ceiling (ya, I realize that last one is a stretch). In two weeks, he'll be a year old. His goal is to walk before then, my goal is to not go crazy. He's cute though, blue forehead and all!!!

Daddy's home

Of course things are good again-- daddy's home! Baron's favorite person to play with. I am Baron's favorite person to have hold him all day. Fun job, right? Just because I did it for 9 months kid, doesn't mean I'm going to do it for much longer. The good news? He is so close to walking! He's crazy, walks all along everything and desperately wants to just cruise around the house. He's getting braver, it's adorable. He can walk and push things, although it makes me too nervous (that he'll go flying) to do it much. Bart's mom was here this last weekend, and oh boy he loved that. Someone to smile at him and pick up everything he throws! And of course, hold him!! In two short weeks, he's going to be one, it's crazy talk. He's basically worked himself off purees and only eats people food now (black beans, bread, toast with jam, hot dogs, cheese, quesadillas, other equally delicious carb-y food). We're adding whole milk into his bottle slowly to see if it's going to stick-- I'm not holding my breath.

Look how sweet this little boy is

It's not Wednesday yet

But it's Monday, so we're getting there. Being the brilliant mom I am, I came up with the best idea ever-- put Baron's beloved walker on the deck! Tons of room for him to go back and forth with nothing for him to break/ruin/piss mom off with! Good. He was better today than he's been the last few days THANK GOD. Oh, did I mention he officially crawls now?

"It's not easy being a mother. If it were, fathers would do it." - The Golden Girls.

Is it Wednesday yet?

Bart comes home Wednesday, and this has been the loooooooongest week ever. EVER. I mean, I love this kid and all, but he is all sorts of tiring. And he does things like throw fits on walks which require you to sing. Fun stuff like that. We went to the park yesterday and Baron went in the swing for the first time ever, he kind of looked at me like "should I just hang here?".

Of course I have proof.

P.S.

I forgot to mention-- Oprah recently told Jennifer Hudson that busy babies are "good" and a sign that they are "intelligent." Hear that people, Oprah thinks my kid is smart!

I just realized

That today is the first day I've been away from that baby of mine for more than an hour in...9 days I think? That's a long time, people. And in baby Baron years, it's even longer, because his list of "things" he does is long. Like what, you ask? Well.
1. He makes this "ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh" noise 6,000 times. Translation: fix me! Or hold me! Or feed me! Or entertain me!
2. He climbs up me. All. Day. Long.
3. He loves being carried, but also weighs 25-ish lbs. That's like five sacks of potatoes.
4. Once you pick him up, he attempts to catapult off of you.
5. Wants to set the record for how many different things he can play with in 5 minutes. I think he's currently up to 389.
6. Crawls away or screams when you change him.
7. Is convinced my presence on earth is solely to entertain him.
8. Stops doing all/any of these annoying things when daddy is around. For daddy? I'll just sit and laugh, sound good? For mommy, I'll see what it takes to drive her insane!
9. Screams anytime something doesn't go his way. And this is mostly everything. The toy doesn't jump up and down and entertain him. He threw the toy, and now it's on the other side of the neighborhood. He's in his walker, stuck. He insists on opening the cabinet door 400 times, including slamming it on his hand. The socks are on. The socks are off. The socks are all wet, because he sucked on them for 10 minutes. I can't get that foot in my mouth anymore. You get the idea.

Here he is helping nana. Or more specifically, try and attack the vaccum.

My funny Valentine

Just me and the kid for a few weeks.

We moved!

Well, we moved furniture. Into entirely different rooms. We deserve a medal or something, or like a big paycheck. We get neither, instead we get a really nice baby. (He's at the end, a reward for looking at our new layout, which I know most of you could care less).