That wasn't so bad

Well my first day back at work wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. Deleting all of my junk mail went quicker than expected, and nothing fell apart while I was gone. I think working two days a week is going to be really nice. Baron got to see his nana which he loved. He's back on million dollar formula, the story of my life. I think this might be a precurser of what's to come with this kid-- high maintenance with broke ass parents. Oh well, he's worth it. Let's just hope he stays that way.

Reflection

5 months and 10 days ago, I met the most beautiful baby I have ever seen in my entire life. The second I laid eyes on him I knew he was mine (and not because I was laying on an operating table, cut open with my OB in the room). He just felt like mine, he looked at me like, "see mom, I'm just fine." I always said that as soon as he's here, I'll stop worrying. I just want to see him, make sure he's fine, and then I'll be ok. Oh, how naive I was. I worry about him every single second of my life, I think I even worry about him in my dreams. I'm working on not worrying so much, but I can't help it, I just really like him that much. I worry about the big things and the little things-- did he burp enough, and will he still like me when he's 25? I told Bart the other day that I don't want him to get any bigger or grow any more, I like him this way and I know he likes me too. Maybe the most he ever will, which is sad to think about. But I also know there's so much goodness to come, it's going to be worth the sacrifice of him always being a baby. But god, how I love this baby. He's gone from a 10 pound burrito to a 18 pound toad, in just five months. I love when he wakes up in the morning talking, talking, talking. The babbling toad. I love how he smiles when we go get him in the morning, and how he lights up when I talk to him. I love that he is in 9 month clothing. I love that he loves standing up, and when all else fails and he's sad, you can instantly cheer him up by taking all of his clothes off. He's funny and happy and sweet. I had absolutely no idea when I was pregnant how much I'd like him once he arrived. I had no idea that this would be the best thing I ever did, times a million. I'm so grateful for him, that he's ours and he looks exactly like Bart but makes my faces, and that we were lucky enough to find him. Bart said to me once that Baron chose us as his parents, and I like to think that's true. I have a feeling I am going to spend my entire life spoiling him. There's worse things in life than a loved kid, right?

So although my maternity leave is over, my time with this baby isn't. I'll still have 5 days a week with him, which is more than I thought I'd have. I've learned more in these last months than I ever have in my life, all for the better. I think about how clueless we were when we brought him home from the hospital-- setting alarm clocks to make sure we fed him on time, sleeping with him in our arms on the couch (one person awake, so they could monitor the sleeping baby and sleeping adult) and Googling everything to make sure he was ok. It feels like ages ago, but yet the last five months have flown by. I now get how my parents must feel about me, and how Bart's parents feel about him. I don't know how you ever let your child go away to college and get married, I'm going to request that Baron live with us forever.

I started this blog as a journal of my maternity leave, but I'm going to keep writing, as a journal of Baron's first months or years of life. Where else can I post a million adorable toad pictures? My lovey-lou (Bart hates that one, by the way), and sometimes, my lovey-lou-lou. Our toad-man-general. TMG. Monkey man. Sweetest bear. Littlest bear. The love of my life.

The end is near

Don't you like how I talk about it like someone died? My maternity leave ends this weekend, Monday I go back to work. I'm working (and by working I mean doing nothing) on a final piece to sum up my time with the babe. Don't get too excited, it's not like I'm going to edit it first.

In the meantime, here's a few pictures of the cutest toad of all time. I'm thinking of deleting my Facebook account. I'm not sure it adds much value to my life, other than to spy on others and take time away from the things that really matter.

D-Day is near

One week from today my vacation will officially be over. Don't you like how I called it a vacation? Yes, it was technically maternity leave, but I'd call not working, daily Target runs and playing with the cutest baby in the world a vacation anyday. Luckily I'm only going back to work part-time, but I still am semi-dreading the change of pace that is about to come. Onward and upward, right? I've always known this day would come, it just came too fast. I will say though, I've truly enjoyed every single day I've spent home with this baby. Some days more than others, but every single day has been worth it. I wouldn't trade one moment for the world, and I bet Baron would agree. And really, that's all I ever said I wanted from my leave, to spend time with the baby (little did we know, he'd be a toad) and enjoy him and love him. Well, that I did.

I know he's only five months old, but some of these pictures feel so long ago.

I'm 5 months old!!!

No, not me- Baron. Can you believe it? It feels like yesterday that I was bitching about pacifier roulette and holding a baby all the time. Now I have a talking, laughing, playing, trying to stand up- toad! He's funny and nice and I can't believe I've only known him for 5 months. Why didn't I do this years ago? Oh, maybe because it's so hard I don't think I would have survived a day. But of course it's getting easier and it helps that we have the best baby in the world.

Oh and I broke down and bought a diaper bag. Not the Mia Bossi one I spoke of earlier, I did 450 hours of research (I have the best baby in the world) and decided on the Storksak Olivia. It's sold out literally everywhere, so my professional research skills did really pay off this time.

To the beach we go!

Baron loved his first trip to Cannon Beach, he slept 90% of the time, and the other 10% he laughed. Beautiful weather, a ton of people and we missed the traffic so I'd call it a success. Can't wait to go back when he's a bit bigger and can feel the sand on his own feet.

How funny is he?

He knows how good looking he is. So much so that he has to contort his entire body just to be able to see his own face in the mirror of his jumper

And then one of B being adorable. As usual. We're off to the Oregon coast tomorrow! B's first look at sand and sea!